tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62205106991465757072023-11-16T14:05:29.569-05:00Chronicles of a (Pregnant) Bikram YoginiBikram yoga has changed my life. I've dropped the old job and dedicated my life to inspire others to do the same. And now I'm pregnant - and life is going to change all over again!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-54368292080815376502011-08-31T21:23:00.000-04:002011-08-31T21:23:48.365-04:00Packing your houseLife with a 4-1/2 month old is pretty amazing. Yes... I did say 4-1/2 months!! Anyone know where the past 3 months flew off to? Somehow Labor Day weekend is right around the corner and I've only been to the beach 2 times. Quite the travesty. So much has gone on in the last 3 months of my life!<br />
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I got back to teaching at the end of June. I think I took a total of 12 weeks off, which is certainly the longest I've ever gone without teaching. It was amazing to get back up on that podium. My adrenaline was flying high. It was a pretty big class of about 25-30 people, who were all very unfamiliar to me. The dialogue mostly came out... I definitely needed a tune up though! I had some fun and funny stories to tell about coming back to practicing, as well as some personal experiences that I went through while not practicing, which I tried my best to eloquently bring back around to the fact that yoga just makes you a better you. <br />
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At the beginning of July, we had our first family vacation down the Cape. My mom and step-dad rent a place down there every year, and we end up joining them for a few days. We almost stayed the whole week this year. It is always a fabulous time, and this time was certainly no different --- but at the same time SO DIFFERENT!! We stayed in a lot more than usual, because taking a 3 month old to nice restaurants can be rather stressful, and you tend to get funny looks from people at bars. So this time, we laid low. Consumed our alcohol in the privacy of the house (and did lots of pumping and dumping). My son got to sleep on the beach and get tons of love and attention from my family. It was such a good time that my husband and I decided that next year, we will be crashing my mom's vacation for the whole week! <br />
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The next big thing: we finally sold our house! We had to scramble and get out pretty quickly, like 3 weeks from the offer being accepted to the final closing date. Oh - and we don't actually have a replacement house quite yet, so we moved everything into storage and are bunking up with my mom and step dad again. (Good thing we all get along so well!!) <br />
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Now... moving is one of the most stressful things you can do in life, right? Adding a 4 month old baby into the mix makes it even more difficult. AND having your sister's wedding 3 days before the closing makes it HELL! I knew it was going to be hellish, so as soon as things were finalized, I started packing up the house. <br />
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For the first few days of packing, the trend went a little bit like this: <br />
1) Go into a room. <br />
2) Begin packing a box in said room. <br />
3) Pace around said room. <br />
4) Leave said room and go into another room, look around and get incredibly overwhelmed. <br />
5) Go back into room to put more shit in the box. <br />
6) Pace some more. <br />
7) Leave said room and sit down on couch and decide I'll <i>really</i> start packing tomorrow. <br />
<br />
The prospect of packing up a house full of 7 years of my life into boxes made my head spin. The problem was that I was trying to "pack up my house". But packing up a house into small boxes is overwhelmingly impossible. You have to stop what you are doing and back up. One room at a time. And when you get to that room, one closet at a time. And when you get into that closet, you pack one shelf at a time. Of course, it all comes back to yoga. When you first begin practicing, you see all these beautiful people around you doing amazing postures, seemingly effortlessly. You can so easily get overwhelmed with the fact that "I will NEVER be able to do THAT." Either that, or you try to push your body in a place it is not ready to go and you end up hurting yourself. But after a little while, you back up. You take things one step at a time. And soon, in standing head to knee, the closet is packed up and you are kicking out. Then the room is completely cleaned out and both knees are locked. You finally get the final items out of the garage and the floor swept up, and your forehead touches your knee. And slowly, gently, the moving truck drives away and you come out exactly the opposite way you went in. <br />
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We just have to sometimes take a step back in order to move forward. <br />
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Another funny thing is that when I finally got a friend to help me, that is when I was able to get things moving. Think about how much easier it is to pack up someone else's shit! You have no attachment to their stuff. You just know that what they have - needs to go into a box. As teachers, we have no real attachment to students' injuries. We just know that if they listen and only do what they can, honestly, trying the right way, their bodies will improve. We know how neatly that equation fits into the box. But we have not lived in their bodies for all of their lives. Their house has closets full of junk that they can't let go of. Years of old bank statements and bills and clutter that if they just let go of it, there would be so much more clean space to move into. Rather than "become your injury", if you can let it go, detach yourself from it and know that it all somehow needs to get into the box... the shelves get emptied, the closets cleaned, and the house emptied so you can start rebuilding again.<br />
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I look forward to writing again. I got a lovely note from a reader that has inspired me to try to get back to it a little more. I can't make any promises, but I can try, and truly hope that I do!<br />
<br />
Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-12220826743362261462011-05-31T21:44:00.000-04:002011-05-31T21:44:16.932-04:00Starting from scratch againI gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy on April 7<sup>th</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Silas Michael Cellere wanted to enter into this world butt first, which resulted in a c-section for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is quite a bit of recovery time after a c-section.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the doctors and nurses told me that I can’t do yoga for 6 weeks, I thought it wouldn’t be so bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could spend time with my little guy and really delve into this whole mommy-hood thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well, about 4 weeks into my recovery, I was really missing yoga. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not just physically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, not at all physically… I realized more and more that that 90 minutes in the hot room gives me so much more than just a nice yoga butt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, I knew this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I talk about it all the time in class – how this yoga just makes you a better you, how it cleans out the clutter of the mind, how it opens you up energetically, spiritually, and emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But to really be forced to take a 6 week hiatus and experience it was pretty profound.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My last class before giving birth was Tuesday morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went into labor on Wednesday night, and had the baby early Thursday morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>7 weeks later, I got the a-ok from my doctor to get back to my yoga.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So of course, 7 weeks and 1 day later, I walked back into the hot room to practice!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It was kind of surreal driving to the studio.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had this nervous, giddy feeling throughout my body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew the class was going to be hard, and I was really looking forward to getting back into my body and seeing how it would all roll out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After 9 months of not doing the Cobra series, I expected it to be somewhat hellish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, for me, seriously, the Cobra series always has been the hardest part of class, so I was ready to suffer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, all of this foresight was absolutely NOTHING in comparison to what that first class back was like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And “Poof!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Just like that, I am a beginner again.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So you might be thinking that 7 weeks isn’t really that much of a break, and that it really shouldn’t have been anything as dramatic as I make it out to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, let me explain something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is this beautiful little hormone that your body produces when a woman is pregnant called relaxin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(All women actually do have this already, it just increases a ton when you are pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It increases slightly in our bodies when we menstruate as well.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This hormone’s function during pregnancy is to relax the joints in the pelvis so the baby has room to pass through the birth canal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guess what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It relaxes the rest of your joints and ligaments as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Students would ask me all the time what it was like practicing while I was pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I would always exclaim, “It’s so much easier now!!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was flexible beyond anything my non-pregnant body ever experienced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So let’s just say that those 9 months that I was practicing… it wasn’t really my body.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Back to my class…</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I got a little bit emotional and teary-eyed looking at myself in the mirror as we all interlocked our fingers nicely underneath our chins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was so overwhelmed with happiness to be back in that space, but as a totally new person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That feeling quickly disapated as my shoulders and neck started screaming, “What do you think you are doing?!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neck might hurt “a little bit”, my ass!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My arms felt like lead in half moon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the beautiful half moon shape I used to make while pregnant looked like a shaky, straight banana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And where I once saw the back of my mat during the backbend, I don’t think I saw where the ceiling met the wall behind me that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the shaking… oh the shaking.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Before I was pregnant, I was a Japanese Ham Sandwich, with only inches from touching my head to my feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, now I can’t even straighten my legs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh the tremendous stretching feeling, PAIN SENSATION!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I came up after the first set, and the instructor, Linda says to me, “How was that, Danielle?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I say, “Oh shit!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The whole class chuckled, and we moved on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I can continue to go into detail of each posture, like how my legs were bouncing up and down in the second part of Awkward Pose, or how Triangle Pose got the better of me and I had to come out after about 5 or 10 seconds, or how I looked like a ramp in Camel Pose, or how I literally had about 90% of my weight in my hands in Cobra.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(FYI – nowhere in the dialogue does it say “arms are supposed to hurt” in Cobra!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And did I mention the shaking??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could talk about all these things, which I am sure would be quite amusing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But instead, let me just say that the whole class was like an out of body experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was me looking in on me as a brand new student.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only instead of being brand new, I know exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just can’t quite get my body to cooperate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It was interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a way, I almost think it was harder than my very first class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the first class, we have no idea what we are doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have no idea what “trying the right way” even means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It takes a while to figure that out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You come out of your first class a little bit sore in a few places, but you really haven’t even touched the surface yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class, I tried like hell the right way, and my body shook and stretched and became jello.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched myself, knowing that it wasn’t going to take me too long to get back to where I was, yet truly amazed at my body’s regression, the stiffness, the pain sensations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So I am starting from scratch again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took my fifth class this morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And while I still feel a little bit “out of body”, I’m intrigued by the possibilities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know where my body can go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am curious to see how long it will take me to get back to where it used to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today I thought, “Hmmm, I bet in another week, I’ll get my head back to my knee.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m resetting some goals in my practice, such as holding Triangle longer the 2nd set.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(In my defense, my incision area from the cesarean does feel very pulled in this posture, so I’m very cautious.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But how cool is it to be back to setting goals for the basics??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am truly looking forward to watch my practice rebloom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a new woman in there, so it seems very appropriate that I have to start from a new place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look at myself in the mirror and see a mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see a very strong woman who had the ability to carry a child in my body with grace and happiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But even more so, I look at this strong body of mine and am so proud of what it is made to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My beautiful baby boy, who I love more than I could have ever imagined… he started his life with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And all along, I had my yoga practice to guide us through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So although my muscles are stiff and my spine is creaky, I walk again into the hot room with my head held high, my eyes wide open, awaiting my very own rebirth.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeA9q5j-TlKt2rlZISgZGDJkHzKAYscgpMX7XTJYcME9i__YNbFImDNo1AevjgOZgDy4oyDDhzxw2T7yNDr5r-2tH6WpC042D4WAKtkUAreK6XXLi2DION9IaIQcSANK6T4Ii_JM7Ckjg/s1600/IMAG0178.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeA9q5j-TlKt2rlZISgZGDJkHzKAYscgpMX7XTJYcME9i__YNbFImDNo1AevjgOZgDy4oyDDhzxw2T7yNDr5r-2tH6WpC042D4WAKtkUAreK6XXLi2DION9IaIQcSANK6T4Ii_JM7Ckjg/s320/IMAG0178.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"> Tuesday, April 5th.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR8VfEyA2WPKF3MigtZ8i5mM2G4gaCGQDk0_xtnSDUjRlJqL8xg-NPIwUjjiRxBjgmQup2przErif_3nn7bVo8bYHpclL4ixkm0BXda21QW9-OjzobToZneR6Af71a1UKscv68jCzvvV0/s1600/P1000193.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR8VfEyA2WPKF3MigtZ8i5mM2G4gaCGQDk0_xtnSDUjRlJqL8xg-NPIwUjjiRxBjgmQup2przErif_3nn7bVo8bYHpclL4ixkm0BXda21QW9-OjzobToZneR6Af71a1UKscv68jCzvvV0/s320/P1000193.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Thursday, April 7th! Welcome Silas!</div>Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-25423902060653049922011-02-17T15:48:00.000-05:002011-02-17T15:48:31.382-05:00Point of focus<i>I've got a phenomenal post brewing... but my writing is sort of lacking right now. So I will continue to let it cook in hopes of my idea becoming reality soon.</i><br />
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In the meantime, I've discovered something in Standing Bow Pulling Pose. After 6 years of practicing and a year and a half (huh??) of teaching under my belt, I've heard something new in the dialogue. Thanks to one of my mentors, Linda, I have recognized that I was missing a key point of dialogue in my class. "Concentrate one point on your left knee in the mirror." I think I was saying something after "Bring your arm up..." like "Bring your knees together to start. Lock your standing knee." That was it. So I had what I was saying wrong. Easily fixable. (Well, after a couple of weeks, I finally had it fixed.) This may be the first time I have actually heard it though. That is totally a lie. I've heard it. I just chose to focus on my face, I guess... or maybe the tip of my fingers in the mirror, depending on the day.<br />
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Guess what? One day a few weeks ago, I decided, ok, ok... I'll concentrate one point on my knee. I have not looked away yet! The power of that point of focus helps me hold the posture so much longer, stronger and powerfully than I EVER would have expected. As in, I can consistently hold Standing Bow Pulling Pose for 90 - 100% of the duration now. What?? Such a simple thing! <br />
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And now, I'm teaching it the right way, and getting other students to understand that point of focus, and their postures are improving, too. Of course, like me though, many choose not to hear it or not to listen or not to try it. And that's ok. We all have our own time. We all find what we need when we need it. But hot-diggity! Try it!! <br />
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<i>(Side note: I am pregnant. My hips are more open. I am more flexible. And the big baby belly just loves this posture. It is easier for me than it has ever been. I attribute this to my new point of focus AND being pregnant. I'm curious to see what happens with this posture post-pregnancy. But for now, I'm just reveling in it!)</i>Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-62350132342360845952011-01-02T14:23:00.000-05:002011-01-02T14:23:36.856-05:00Each year tops the lastAs I sit here on the Sunday after New Years Day, watching the Patriots pummel the Dolphins with this little life kicking inside of me, I can't help but reflect on the past year. You may have noticed a trend in many of my posts. The feeling of happiness, perhaps? Or maybe that I feel like the luckiest girl in the world at times? No doubt about it, as I wrap up the year 2010, it all will hold true.<br />
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Some noteworthy days/landmarks in the 2010 chapter of my life:<br />
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January - Tim and I made the decision that I would shoot for leaving my job in June to become a full-time Bikram yoga teacher. The idea had been floating out there and lingering with me for a while, but after the new year, we talked about it more seriously and decided that financially, emotionally, and personally, it was the next step that I had to take in my life.<br />
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February 19 - 26 - Vacation to Cabo with 10 friends. This was our "Let's have one last hoorah vacation before we settle down and start a family" vacation. And indeed it was! We spent 7 sun-filled days with wonderful friends, relaxing, partying, dancing, eating, shopping, exploring, bonding, and laughing our asses off. <br />
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April 9 - Gave my 2 month notice to Blue Hive. It was incredibly emotional for me. I was leaving something I helped to build from the ground up. I knew it was the right thing, but at the same time, it was incredibly scary and unknown. This day began with a heavy heart, but ended with an enormous weight lifted off my and a lightness and anticipation about what was to come.<br />
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May 29 - 31 - Belanger Cup weekend - This is always a weekend of family fun, but this year just felt so much more special. I get to spend 3 days with my dad and my cousins and the whole family. This year, we hosted the Saturday night dinner, which not the typical Italian feast. Instead we decided to make a feast filled with my future brother-in-law's Iran/Syrian culture. My sister and my 2 cousins spent about 4 hours laughing over chopping parsley and juicing lemons for the most delicious taboule you could imagine. Although I may have complained (jokingly) the whole time, it was a wonderful afternoon that I will always look back on with a happy heart.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2TJ1LN_vy5YbYqFwsk4iUzzBY0OVJPvh8WiI5uL7HNPgir59H-Gg_RBz44lzh2-nOnXcAKwL6nNNvvf-k2HOn6nDyPmB3pu43Hx2QmjDi9JZmbDwCUjcnn5ZfQ8gxuga2fUqN91Z1-7o/s1600/BelangerCup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2TJ1LN_vy5YbYqFwsk4iUzzBY0OVJPvh8WiI5uL7HNPgir59H-Gg_RBz44lzh2-nOnXcAKwL6nNNvvf-k2HOn6nDyPmB3pu43Hx2QmjDi9JZmbDwCUjcnn5ZfQ8gxuga2fUqN91Z1-7o/s320/BelangerCup.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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June 1 - Began my career as a full time Bikram Yoga Instructor! This week was just out of this world. Since I graduated college in 2000, my life consisted of a 9-5 job, and suddenly I was teaching yoga for a job, with all of these strange hours and extra time to spare. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. I would get home some days at noon and squeal with happiness at all of the things I could now find the time to do. I watched my progress as a teacher grow exponentially in that one week... and knew that there was so much more to come as I continued upon this path.<br />
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August 14 - Pink Line = Pregnant! For the sake of having this recorded outside of my memory, I will recap how it all went down. It actually started the night before.<br />
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We went out to dinner with my in-laws to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. It was one of those really rare occasions where it was just the adults: me and Tim, Tim's mom and dad, and sister and brother-in-law. We had a long, delicious dinner, some fabulous cocktails... the conversation was full and lively. No one wanted the night to end quite yet, so we went on to have a nightcap at another bar down the street. We shared a heart-felt toast with Tim's dad, proclaiming his love and pride for his children and the lives that we have all made for ourselves. Once again, it was just one of those really special nights that I will always hold on to.<br />
<br />
The next morning, we had plans to go to the beach with our 2 best friends, Rich and Meg, and from there, head to another friends' house for the night. Ever since I had been off the pill, I had been on a really sporadic cycle, where I would get my period every 7 weeks or so. I realized it was close to about 7 weeks since my last period, so I decided, while Tim was in the shower, to drag my hungover ass over to the bathroom to pee on a stick. Bleary-eyed and foggy-brained, I rub my eyes and see this ever-so faint pink line make it way into my sight. I go back to the directions, which clearly state "line may be very light, but result is positive" (or something to that degree). My heart starts hammering even harder than it already was (as a result of too much wine the night before). I take some deep breaths, take the test to our bedroom, and wait for Tim to get out of the shower to tell him.<br />
<br />
Me: "T!! Come here!!!" <br />
Tim: "What?"<br />
Me: "COME. HERE."<br />
Tim: What?"<br />
Me: "Uhhh.. I think I'm pregnant..." (begin to tear up)<br />
Tim: "What??? Are you serious? Let me see that..." (Big hugs happening at this time.) "You mean this really light pink line???"<br />
Me: "Yes!!"<br />
Tim: "How do you feel?"<br />
Me: "I'm hung OVER!!!"<br />
<br />
It was a brilliant moment, so perfectly capturing the essence of me and Tim and the way so many momentous occasions in our lives go down.<br />
<br />
August, September, and October - So many great days during these months, as we began to share our wonderful news with our parents, families and friends. I loved all the happy reactions and hugs and excitement. I loved the day that I was finally done with my first trimester and shared the news with my Monday morning yoga class. (And the choked up feeling I had when I began trying to start off class after that!) <br />
<br />
<br />
The last few months of the year I can only summarize with one word: COMPLETE. I feel as if every day is a blessing. I feel super-human. I feel my world starting to change. I feel a strength and bond with my husband that is untouchable. I have such a sense of excitement for my parents becoming grandparents. I have a new understanding of my Self, my body, my ability to bring life into this world. I feel empowered by my intentions for a 100% natural birth. Although I cannot necessarily pinpoint any particular days in this last half of the year, I am overwhelmed with all the little things that have made it a wonderful year. Between the new, unexpected friendships I have formed and the old friendships that remain just as solid and important as they always have been, my increased confidence as a teacher and new awareness of my body as a student, and the anticipation of seeing my husband become a dad, I am overcome with joy and simply complete.<br />
<br />
Farewell 2010. Thank you...Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-89859894863819406792010-12-05T16:43:00.007-05:002010-12-05T16:57:36.485-05:00Follow the Yellow Brick Road<span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><span>“But how do I start for Emerald City?”</span></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><span>“It's always best to start at the beginning – and all you do is follow the Yellow Brick Road.”</span></span><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:100%;" ><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> - Dorothy and Glinda the good witch, Wizard of Oz</span><br /><br /></span> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p><span style="font-size:85%;">There are about, oh, I don’t know… hundreds of things I love about Bikram Yoga.</span><span style=";font-size:85%;" > </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I love…<br /></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />… that I get 90 minutes for me and only me.<br /><br />… the wonderful community of people that I have formed beautiful, lasting relationships with.<br /><br />… the way I feel like I can conquer the world after pushing through a tough class.<br /><br />… that the first time I felt my baby move was during class.<br /><br />… teaching and inspiring.<br /><br />… watching students improve their bodies.<br /><br />… the patience and love for myself that I now have.<br /><br /><br />But the one thing I would like to talk about today is my love for the fact that ANYBODY can do Bikram yoga.<span style=""> </span>It doesn’t matter how young you are, how old you are, how skinny or fat, or muscular or scrawny, how tall or short, how inflexible or limber, everyone can do this yoga.<span style=""> </span>All you have do is walk in the door.<br /><br />I love walking into a class room and seeing the variety of students in the room.<span style=""> </span>Some students have broken bodies that are just touching the surface of the healing.<span style=""> </span>Others are there for a good workout, and have not yet found the meditation, the mental clarity, the new-found love for self that follows.<span style=""> </span>I see young college girls that are so bendy, but have no strength, and I see middle-aged former athletes who cannot even kneel comfortably.<span style=""> </span>But these students all have something in common:<span style=""> </span>they walked in the door.<span style=""> </span>And sometimes, that is the biggest challenge.<br /><br />This yoga is so hard, not just for those with broken bodies.<span style=""> </span>It is hard for everyone.<span style=""> </span>If it’s not hard for you, well then you simply aren’t working hard enough.<span style=""> </span>Even on the days that it seems easy – we still struggle.<span style=""> </span>We struggle for our balance, struggle for our breath, struggle being still, struggle with locking the freaking knee.<span style=""> </span>There is almost always something.<span style=""> </span>Right now, my struggle is learning how to not struggle.<span style=""> </span>It’s learning that this practice is no longer just about me anymore.<span style=""> </span>So when I am getting overwhelmed with the heat and become overly exerted, I am learning that it’s ok for me to stop and sit, or even leave the room if I need to.<span style=""> </span>For this body is no longer my own.<span style=""> </span>I’m sharing it with this precious little life growing inside me that I already madly in love with.<span style=""> </span>And the pretty posture I want to see in the mirror is so miniscule compared to that.<br /><br />How do we overcome, or even realize these struggles?<span style=""> </span>We have to start at the beginning.<span style=""> </span>Step by step, word by word, breath by breath…<span style=""> </span>If we are not completely present, in the very moment, struggling to just try the right way, while taking care of ourselves, then we have nothing.<span style=""> </span>If we are busy wondering when on earth we will ever be able to get our forehead on the knee, when we can’t even grab the foot, what is the point?<span style=""> </span>If we have sustained an injury, and we are busy worrying about how beautiful Standing Bow Pose looked a week ago, are we really trying to help ourselves NOW?<span style=""> </span>We all have to start every day, every practice, every posture from the beginning.<span style=""> </span>Whatever that beginning is on any given day is always the most perfect place to start.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style=""> </span><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:85%;">“There is no such thing as the past.<br />It exists only in the memory.<span style=""> </span><br />There is no such thing as the future.<br />It exists only in our imagination.<span style=""> </span><br />If our watches were truly accurate,<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">the only thing they would ever say is NOW.”</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; font-style: italic;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:85%;">- Excerpt from a letter from Damien Echols of the West Memphis 3 to Eddie Vedder</span></p>Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-28428356459125937622010-10-20T18:54:00.004-04:002010-10-22T13:48:41.716-04:00On pregnancy<span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;" >I am reading the book <span style="font-style: italic;">What to Expect When You’re Expecting</span>, because…Well folks, I’m pregnant! Today I am 15 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I have had so many happy times in my life lately, but this one trumps them all. It just seems to be one happiness on top of another for the past 2 years. This life of mine continues to spin in a direction I never thought it would have 5 years ago. But thankfully, I have found peace with myself, strength in my mind and a sense of balance in my spirit. Who knew that walking into a Bikram yoga studio 6 years ago would have begun the series of events that have gotten me to where I am now? Life works so mysteriously. </span> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: verdana;font-family:verdana;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Back to my point…<span style=""> </span>this book I am reading is full of a lot of great information.<span style=""> </span>When I’m feeling a little lightheaded, I turn to the book to see why it’s happening and if it is normal.<span style=""> </span>When my heart starts racing a little more than usual because I’ve eaten too much, I turn to the book and find out what is going on inside my body and why.<span style=""> </span>It’s a really great resource for a newly pregnant woman who has never done this before.<span style=""> </span>However, there is one item I have just gotten to that talks about working out and exercise while pregnant that really made my jaw drop.<span style=""> </span>Here is the except:</span></p> <p style="font-family: verdana;font-family:verdana;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-style: italic; font-family: verdana;font-family:verdana;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">“Stay cool.<span style=""> </span>Any exercise or environment that raises a pregnant woman’s temperature more than 1.5 degrees should be avoided.<span style=""> </span>So stay out of saunas, steam rooms, or hot tubs, and don’t exercise outdoors in very hot or humid weather or indoors in a stuffy, overheated room (no Bikram yoga).”<span style=""> </span>p 218</span></p> <p style="font-family: verdana;font-family:verdana;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: verdana;font-family:verdana;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I do actually understand that we don’t want our internal temperature to rise too much, if at all.<span style=""> </span>I get this.<span style=""> </span>But who is to say that our temperatures are actually getting higher just because we are sweating in the hot room?<span style=""> </span>Has the author of this book ever even taken a Bikram yoga class?<span style=""> </span>You should see the “exercises” they are suggesting to women!<span style=""> </span>I don’t know that I would call them exercise.<span style=""> </span>They are laughable.<span style=""> </span>I suppose, if the reader is someone who has never done a thing in her life, then perhaps these exercises would account for something.<span style=""> </span>I mean, at least it would get you up and moving.<span style=""> </span>But I can’t see what moving my neck from side to side four times, then sitting Indian style and reaching up toward the ceiling, then doing a shoulder stretch, where you grab your elbow and pull it to the other side of your body would actually do for me.<span style=""> </span>Are these exercises really going to prepare my physical strength and mental stamina for child birth?<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: verdana;font-family:verdana;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-family: verdana;font-family:verdana;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I have been practicing Bikram yoga for 6 years, so yes, I am someone who knows my body and my limits very well.<span style=""> </span>I am certainly not saying that a woman who has never done Bikram yoga before should decide to take it up for the first time in the middle of her pregnancy, but you know what?<span style=""> </span>You could!<span style=""> </span>The pregnancy series is actually quite brilliant.<span style=""> </span>Now that I am doing it, I have an even greater appreciation for the modifications and breaks that are built in.<span style=""> </span>The breaks that we take are where we create a lot of compression to our baby-bellies.<span style=""> </span>So it’s Standing Head to Knee, Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee and Rabbit pose.<span style=""> </span>Think about what happens at this point in class…<span style=""> </span>our heart rates SKYROCKET.<span style=""> </span>Standing H2K, this is HUGE cardiovascular work out happening.<span style=""> </span>So we take it off (because of compression to the belly, but I’m making a point here).<span style=""> </span>THEN after Triangle – <span style="font-style: italic;">yowsah</span>!<span style=""> </span>Our hearts are pummeling through our chests right now.<span style=""> </span>So you get a break for Standing Separate H2K.<span style=""> </span>Same thing for Camel Pose… it always feels funny and gets my heart racing, so we get a break after that for Rabbit.<span style=""> </span>There I times I really wish I could keep going, because I’m already starting to miss some of my old friends, like Cobra and Rabbit, but these modifications to the 26 and 2 are so well timed, I have to wonder if it was thought out intentionally back when Bikram created this series.<span style=""> </span>(I sort of doubt it, and feel like it was just one of those wonderful coincidences.)<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: verdana;font-family:verdana;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: verdana;">So I for one, will continue to practice my Bikram yoga as often as possible.</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">When I am in that hot room now, I have a whole new sense of myself.</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">I walk out of that room feeling so good for me, and so good for the little being growing inside me.</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">I know it is making me physically strong and mentally powerful.</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">I am more aware of everything that is happening with my body and with what I am feeling, because I have someone else to take care of now, besides just myself.</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">My ego is no longer in that room with me.</span><span style="font-family: verdana;"> </span><span style="font-family: verdana;">I’ve got a new sidekick cheering me on… I can feel it.</span><span style=""> </span></span></p>Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-64726013267398785462010-09-26T10:04:00.001-04:002010-09-26T20:43:15.262-04:00Balance<style>@font-face { font-family: "Times New Roman"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }table.MsoNormalTable { font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }</style> <p class="MsoNormal">A solid 3 months has passed and I have completely neglected my blog.<span style=""> </span>And it is not like I haven’t had things to say!<span style=""> </span>I would have experiences in class, either teaching or practicing, and think, “Yes – I have to write about this!”<span style=""> </span>But the thought would come and go, I’d sit down at my laptop to think about writing, and… nothing.<span style=""> </span>I can blame it on the wonderful summer we had.<span style=""> </span>I mean, who wants to be inside sitting at a computer during the most gorgeous summer I can remember, when I could be outside gardening, at the farm stand, or spending time with friends and family at the beach?<span style=""> </span>Or I could blame it on all the <span style="font-style: italic;">STUFF</span> I have been doing with all of my spare time since I quit my “real job” and started teaching full time.<span style=""> </span>I had a huge list that I completed every item on over the summer… and I do feel so accomplished.<span style=""> </span>But you know what, I am not going to blame not blogging on anything.<span style=""> </span>It’s ok.<span style=""> </span>I just didn’t want to I guess.<span style=""> </span>It wasn’t on the top of my priority list.<span style=""> </span>And that is just fine with me.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">So what have I been doing with myself for the last 3 months?<span style=""> </span>Well, I have, first and foremost, been growing exponentially as a teacher.<span style=""> </span>Once I went from teaching 2 classes a week to teaching 10 – 12 classes a week, things just started really clicking.<span style=""> </span>I always felt like I was in a good place prior to this, but I just KNEW that I had so much more in me.<span style=""> </span>And once teaching became my main focus, ZHOOOM!<span style=""> </span>I plowed ahead, full steam!<span style=""> </span>I keep collecting more and more tools for my toolbox.<span style=""> </span>And now I actually have ease using this collection of tools.<span style=""> </span>It just goes to show that teaching is just like practicing.<span style=""> </span>The more consistently you do it, the faster you will grow.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Beyond teaching, I have begun doing all the little things that were neglected for so long.<span style=""> </span>I have a clean home, rooms have been de-cluttered, healthy, good meals have been prepared, yard work has been done, a garden tended to, and more time has been spent with friends and family.<span style=""> </span>And on top of that, I am beginning to do some freelance graphic design.<span style=""> </span>What is funny is that I didn’t realize I missed it until I started doing it again.<span style=""> </span>As much as I am now a yoga teacher, I still am a designer and a creative person at heart.<span style=""> </span>I am absolutely loving the balance of it all.<span style=""> </span>I am able to do design work at home, on my own time, with complete focus on what I am doing.<span style=""> </span>(Coming from where I previously came from, the “focus” part of it is something totally new!)</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I have been reflecting on the past couple of years, and am in awe at how everything has worked out.<span style=""> </span>That one decision to send in that check to teacher training put a totally unexpected, unlikely, surprising, yet perfect spin on my life.<span style=""> </span>Everything, and I mean everything in my life has changed.<span style=""> </span>From the inside out, bones to skin, fingertips to soul…<span style=""> </span>There is so much more to tell.<span style=""> </span>But right now, on this perfect Sunday morning, the day after our 6 year anniversary, the most important thing for me is to go hang out with my husband, and listen to some Jack Johnson over our morning coffee.</p>Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-54871377873837290782010-06-23T20:52:00.001-04:002010-06-23T20:52:45.886-04:00Weeding the GardenI figured something out a couple of weekends ago. Weeding is much easier after a heavy rain. Unfortunately, two weeks ago was the first time all year that I have done it. It was mid-June, where we have had an onset of really lovely warm weather this year, followed by some great rain showers… so as you can imagine, our front yard landscaping has turned into a jungle. It is overwhelming. I have tackled about a quarter of it in 2 and a half hours on a Saturday, then another 2 hours on Sunday. Then this past weekend, another 3 hours. Really and great, big mess.<br /><br />Where am I going with this? Well, I got to thinking, as I was pulling out milk weeds that have grown up to my shoulders – weeding is a lot like the dialogue: If you don’t stick with it on a regular basis, it becomes an enormous undertaking to get it back on track. And just like weeds overtaking our landscaping, if we, as teachers, begin to let these little weeds into our teaching without nipping them in the bud right away, suddenly we are up to our ears spewing all kinds of nonsense that just grows bigger and bigger, and by the time we realize we need to get back on track, we are so far away from the words on the page, we don’t even know how it got so out of hand. (wow… hello, run-on sentence!) But if we stick with the dialogue, even go back to it every week to make sure that there aren’t any weeds creeping in to what we are saying, then our classes will be strong and our students will grow with precision.<br /><br />I think we have all been in classes where we are listening to the teacher and thinking to ourselves, “Huh? What are they saying??” (Or maybe it is just teachers that do that? I don’t know… I know I did it as a student, too.) These are perhaps teachers that have been teaching for years and years and years. Maybe they are the teachers that went to training when there wasn’t even a “dialogue”. There are so many reasons that people stray away. And once they do, it is overwhelming to attempt to go back. Going back is like looking at a football field full of ragweeds and thinking you have to pull them out by hand one by one. The only way to attempt this massive undertaking is to go square foot by square foot. Or in the case of teaching, posture by posture, sequence by sequence. We can’t expect to peruse thru our entire dialogue in one night and think that it is all going to fix itself that easily. But everyday, if we walk thru our garden and pull out any nagging little weeds, our landscaping will remain pristine, clean and beautiful. And as teachers, if we continue to get feedback from other teachers and work on the understanding and delivery of our dialogue day by day, our students will be the same: pristine, clean, beautiful.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-82184707916276741462010-06-08T20:04:00.002-04:002010-06-08T20:08:49.371-04:00And we all LevitateFirst of all, I have to just say that I am absolutely loving this new life of mine. Teaching full time is a dream job. I’m not actually sure I can even call it a job. It is A-freaking-MA-ZING. But more about that later…<br /><br />This morning, I taught the 6am class. In the Auburn studio, students tend to roll in pretty early to class. I got there really early – like 5:15 and started with some chores. 5:30am hits, and the first student walks in. Then there was a continuous flow of students until 6 o’clock on the nose. 20 students in the 6am class! This I unbelievable! I’ve had large 6am classes, but this was over and above anything I’ve seen. I mean really – just think of the power of this yoga. To wake that many people up, as the birds are chirping their good morning songs, and into the Bikram Yoga Torture Chamber is pretty powerful stuff.<br /><br />And what an incredible class it was. Get that many people together that early to start their day, and something pretty cool happens. I watched these simultaneous triangle poses – all four sides – SO <span style="font-weight: bold;">STRONG</span>. I couldn’t help but exclaim, “WOW!” I felt such an enormous surge of energy charging at me… like nothing I have felt before while teaching. The intense feeling has been coursing thru my veins all day, like adrenaline barreling me thru life with nothing to hold me back.<br /><br />I’ve been thinking about that class all day today. I mean, when I walked in, there was literally a buzz of happy, smiling faces. A buzz of students that perhaps felt like they were “in the know”. A charge that I swear you could see! Some of the students that I’ve never seen before at 6am, must’ve been thinking, <span style="font-style: italic;">“I can’t believe how many people come to yoga this early!”</span> And the rest of the regulars that are there for the early classes seemed to have all shown up on the same day. They must have been thinking, <span style="font-style: italic;">“Yes! More people means more energy!”</span> And me? I literally walk into the room saying,<span style="font-style: italic;"> “What are you all doing here? <span style="font-weight: bold;">This is AWESOME!</span>”</span> And start giggling with giddy excitement for the class ahead of me. <br /><br />All that I know right now is that I have seen before me the power you can ride off of with collective energy. Can you imagine if the entire state of Massachusetts woke up early to come to yoga class on any given day? The entire country? The world?? I’m having a hard time finding the words. I just know that that energy could cure cancer, create world peace, and quite possibly, make us all levitate.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-89125263373957049642010-05-19T20:40:00.002-04:002010-05-19T20:44:51.031-04:00Cleaning up the clutterHave you ever looked around yourself and been overwhelmed with all the “stuff” in your life? It’s not just physical, tangible things that I am talking about here. How much “extra baggage” to we carry around in our day-to-day lives? All the things we do in life, because perhaps we feel like we should, like we are obligated, like if we don’t do it, someone is going to get hurt or feel bad or not like us. Why? All the mental clutter that crowds our minds: “Is my job safe?” or “Are we going to be ok?” or “Why aren’t I good enough?” <br /><br />As I embark in the next phase of my life, I feel so much like I really have to “clean house”. Yes, definitely in the literal sense, but even more than that. With everything I have been doing for the past year (full-time job, practicing, teaching, softball, cooking, friends, family, LIFE!), I feel like this transition is a way for me to really clean up shop. I look around our home and can see all this STUFF. It is so easy to accumulate a lot over the course of a few years… bills piled up high, notebooks full of to-do lists and half-baked ideas, empty boxes from new appliances that you can’t quite throw away<span style="font-style: italic;"> just in case</span>. I can’t help but think that if I clean up all the STUFF, I am going to gain more focus, more clarity, more spirit of self. If we are crowded by things that have no purpose in our lives, why do we continue to hold on to them? I can probably go thru boxes and closets and find things I didn’t even know or <span style="font-style: italic;">remember</span> I had. What use is this? Will my life be any less fulfilling or happy without these things? <br /><br />I’ve been thinking that moving on from my job is another way that I am removing that which does not serve me. My job turned in to something I no longer LOVE. There are still the parts that get my adrenaline going, but the majority of my days were spent thinking about what I REALLY want to be doing. And what is really cool is that after making that final decision to move forward with teaching on a full-time basis, I found out that I am still going to be able to continue doing some design, getting the best of both of my worlds. Only this time, it’s in my own control. I’m cleaning up the daily ho-hum and refocusing myself on where I am meant to be. Is it scary? Well, <span style="font-style: italic;">hell yeah</span>. But the knowledge and certainty I feel is astounding. I mean, shit, if I can take ALL of my energy and focus it on yoga, there is no telling what I can accomplish. There is so much I can give. It's my karma yoga to give it. And not only that, there is so much more for me to learn.<br /><br />So as I mop up all the muddle, I dream of this ongoing journey of life. Where things come and go, and paths are undefined and clear. Where the jumble jams the pathway, only to see that goal in the far away distance, refocus my sights, clean the clutter in the way, and continue on the straight road, while filling myself up with the beauty of the scenery on the way.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-6237404581810011552010-04-21T21:13:00.002-04:002010-04-21T21:16:53.575-04:00A change gonna do me goodI have an announcement that I can finally share with the world. (Err… well, at least my few readers!) I am quitting my job to become a full time yoga teacher! There! I said it!!! It’s out there. I’ve been thinking about it since the first day I taught my first class. I may have even been thinking about it since I took my first class, but who knows? <br /><br />I’ve said since the very beginning that I was going to give my job a full year, to see if I could get back into the swing of things. That was always my intention. I don’t think I knew how much this teaching thing would take over my being. But it has. And so now, exactly 3 days from the anniversary of me leaving for Teacher Training in California, I can finally say with conviction that this is what I want to do. <br /><br />I am ready for change. I’ve been working as a graphic designer in the crazy trade show industry for 10 years. And the last 5 years, I’ve been the director of graphic design for a company that has gone from 4 people to about 70 people in those 5 years. I’ve grown as a designer, I’ve grown as a manager, and I’ve grown as a woman. Lucky for me, it is the type of company that inspires personal growth. When I broached the subject of me leaving for 9 weeks to pursue the goal of becoming a certified Bikram yoga instructor, I was not met with “you want to do what??” I was met with, “Ok… let’s figure out how to make this work.” Not to say that I wouldn’t have done it anyways. Who really knows? But everything I’ve been able to do, I’ve been able to do with confidence because of the people who surround me every day with support. <br /><br />This change is huge. Hey – might as well go big or go home, right? The high-stress, deadline-driven, madness that was my job will soon be replaced with teaching yoga, something I don’t even consider a “job”. My hours will be cut in half (as will my salary... yikes!). Right now, I am teaching 2 – 4 classes per week, working my full-time job, and practicing on a daily basis. As you can imagine – there’s not much extra time in my life for quality time with my husband, friends and family. So I’m really looking forward to having more time. Time for me. Time for Tim. Just time. <br /><br />It’s funny how life flips upside-down on us sometimes. I was so career driven only 4 short years ago. So much so that my life was controlled by it. I wanted the big job, wanted the nice clothes, the “stuff” that was supposed to make me happy. I thrived on the fast-pace stress that consumed my days. And now, my priorities have done a 180. My happiness is most important. For me to say that I want to make us a nice home – you never would have heard that come out of my mouth, until now. This evolution of Self often surprises me. I think, “Who is this, and what have you done with Danielle?” But this is me. It’s who I have become. I’m ready to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n. Ready for a new pace. Ready to evolve as a teacher. Only teaching a few classes a week, I feel like I really haven’t been able to develop myself as a teacher. I’m ready to see what is in store for me. <br /><br />This new life of mine is going to be different. Exactly one week after I graduated from college, I began working. The 8:00 – 5:00 job is all I know. I am now going to be teaching 2 – 3 classes a day, at 4 different studios around Massachusetts… all various times of the day! I’ll be somewhere different every day. I’ll be working with different students every day. I am ready to dive in. Head first. With no swimmies.<br /><br />Damn. That feels good!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-78241605434782900382010-04-01T11:34:00.001-04:002010-04-01T11:37:42.912-04:00Fresh Pot!!I have an addiction.<span style=""> </span> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">To coffee.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s been 11 months since it started.<span style=""> </span>Late nights at teacher training is when this addiction began.<span style=""> </span>And it hasn’t stopped since.<span style=""> </span>There is something to be said about juicing yourself up with coffee then going to teach a hyped-up, caffine-induced, energetic-can’t-stop-talking-yoga-class.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I love the taste.<span style=""> </span>I love when it is piping hot.<span style=""> </span>I love it so much that I went and bought a really nifty little (well…not really little) Thermos that keeps your coffee hot for 12 hours!<span style=""> </span>You heard right – 12 HOURS.<span style=""> </span>Sweet Jesus.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And so now, I sit here at work, with yet another shot poured from my nifty little Thermos, realizing that yes, I AM addicted to coffee.<span style=""> </span>Perhaps when life calms down a little, I will be able to ween myself off a little.<span style=""> </span>Just maybe.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">After 2 months of not posting, this is my post.<span style=""> </span>I’m looking forward to a time when I can come back more steadily to this blog….<span style=""> </span>Soon my friends.<span style=""> </span>Soon.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And speaking of caffine – <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhdCslFcKFU">you MUST watch this!</a></p> <!--EndFragment-->Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-50793739139246090112010-02-06T23:08:00.000-05:002010-02-06T23:15:07.953-05:00The quest to learn how to let it goSometimes disappointment comes in many forms. We often disappoint ourselves, whether it is in our jobs, our relationships, or in our yoga. Fortunately, the feeling of disappointment in yoga only lasts for brief moments. The feeling of, “Oh, I am having such a bad class” or, “my bow pose will never improve.” Lucky for us, the next day, there is a new class. A new you. The slate is wiped clean. It doesn’t matter what we did yesterday. All that matters is the here and the now. <br /><br />So why does the feeling of disappointment grip so much longer and tighter in real life? When these feelings take a hold, why are they so hard to let go? I speak so loudly of the wonderful effects that yoga has on my life, and how it is a perfect correlation of so many amazing things in my life. But when it comes to feelings of sadness, hurt, disappointment, embarassment… why can’t I wipe it away as easily as a “bad class”?<br /><br />I guess the only difference is that yoga is only about me. It is me, and my body, and my reflection in the mirror. How do I turn that solidarity within myself in the hot room into solidarity outside of the hot room? How do I keep my heart strings in check, with the knowledge that my peace has been stolen? <br /><br />“If anybody steals your peace, YOU are the loser!” <br /><br />How do we “let it go” like a bad class? <br /><br />When feelings are involved, how can we NOT be affected?Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-26432234409343899182010-02-06T23:06:00.001-05:002010-02-06T23:07:51.633-05:00Guest Post on Bikram 101Check out my guest post on <a href="http://bikram101.blogspot.com/2010/02/day-36-got-energy.html">Bikram 101</a>!!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-18508888022023520542010-01-24T18:33:00.003-05:002010-01-24T18:46:15.355-05:00Busting out of the Comfort ZoneAs we approach the last week of January, can anyone answer me this: Where the hell did January go??? Seriously, time has been flying by for me. And I am proud to say that I am now 24 classes deep for 2010! And I’m showing no signs of stopping! I feel amazing. I love practicing yoga everyday. There are times it feels like getting there is a chore. Bikram yoga is a HUGE time commitment, and there are times when I just want to sleep until 7am instead of 5am, and times that I want to go home and relax after work instead of getting home from yoga at 7:30 in the evening. But every time I get myself in the hot room, 90 minutes later, I am glad I did.<br /><br />Besides feeling amazing from yoga, I’ve taken a real turn in my eating habits. I’ve never really been a “bad” eater, but <a href="http://mikebelangerjr.blogspot.com/">my brother</a> has taught me an awful lot about nutrition, and I’m now spending more time in my life to actually make better and more healthy eating habits. I have found that my energy level is way up. All day. I’m primarily eating only real food. You know, the kind that was once alive, the kind that doesn’t have shit preservatives pumped into it, the kind that our bodies were made to eat. It’s a lot of work. The limited time I have at home lately is spent preparing healthy meals for the next day. It’s all worth it though. My brother had a <a href="http://mikebelangerjr.blogspot.com/2009/09/112-hours.html">phenomenal post</a> a while back that really hit home for me. Read it. You’ll like it.<br /><br />I spent last weekend at Kripalu in the Berkshires for a weekend long yoga retreat/seminar with Rajashree Choudhury. It was from Friday to Monday. My friend Michele and I went last year and had a blast. When we went last year, I had just sent in my payment for teacher training. I was brimming with anticipation and emotion and excitement. So going back this year was meaningful to me. I got to meet a lot of teachers and I felt like a part of something BIG. On the first day, we got to meet everyone in the group. Listening to everyone’s stories of how they came to love Bikram yoga and how it changed their lives was incredibly inspiring. It felt so right to be there, as a teacher… as someone whose life has also changed for the better. Funny side story: As the microphone is going around the room and people are introducing themselves, my crazy anxiety that I get from public speaking totally hit me!! I was shocked how strongly it came on. Michele and I were toward the back of the room, so I pretty much had to wait an hour before I got the microphone. Lucky for me, the woman just before me told her story – she had cancer and said she never would have made it without Bikram Yoga. I was in tears. It totally took the edge off of having to speak. I guess my nervous emotions came out in tears, and I was good to go from there.<br /><br />I also went and taught at a different studio yesterday, which was totally exciting and surreal for me. Teri Almquist was one of my first instructors where I practice (and now teach), and she now owns a studio in Andover. I’ve been wanting to go and teach for her, and we finally worked it out. So I get there and ask her if Saturday’s 4m class is usually busy. She says “No, not really.” That makes me kind of happy because then I a can probably catch a few names and really give some corrections and do my normal class. Well, people begin to roll in, and roll in, and ROLL IN! It was incredible. I think I had 12 brand new students, another handful of students still on their intro special, some solid experienced students and 2 teachers. I NEVER get that in Auburn! Suddenly my excitement and nervousness starts to creep in, I walk into the studio introduce myself and begin class. MAN was I nervous! It was so weird! I think I settled into my very first class quicker than I did yesterday! I don’t think I actually saw any bodies until 20 minutes into class. It was really fun though, and I hope to be able to go back there and teach. The students absolutely love Teri and they have great practices. I could tell that they have solid, dialogue-driven teachers. The new students did really well, too. With my nerves kicked in, Teri said to me, “Just say the dialogue.” And what do you know! It really works!! (As if I didn’t already know that…)<br /><br />One more thing that is really exciting for me. (And will likely cause me another bout of nerves!!) The Holy Cross crew team is coming into the yoga studio every Thursday evening for class for the next 5 weeks. They started last week. I wasn’t there. I didn’t teach. However, Sunny (teacher) and Sam (the owner), thought I might like to teach that class. I usually love to have big classes and a few new students. Well, this will be 40 new students… athletic, young, brand new fellas in one class. I know it will be great practice for me and that I will probably learn a lot, so I was psyched when I was asked if I wanted to give it a try. I’m going to continue to push myself further and further out of my comfort zone. Because you know what? That is when we really begin to grow. ☺<br /><br />And now for some comparison posture pics (and more)!!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3Xyqb-keJxWx4QvOn8rJN9xTjspMEdp8QNiUkqPzieGp29vhtliuOoC2ZrnfEkUFYqnQdcfpZEt0aP-81fiFh0bej3puLwOP6KkTJrfyB6ToW5MWzwGYoM499X2cejcRdW5f_X0NYK5g/s1600-h/StandingBow2009_2010.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 162px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3Xyqb-keJxWx4QvOn8rJN9xTjspMEdp8QNiUkqPzieGp29vhtliuOoC2ZrnfEkUFYqnQdcfpZEt0aP-81fiFh0bej3puLwOP6KkTJrfyB6ToW5MWzwGYoM499X2cejcRdW5f_X0NYK5g/s320/StandingBow2009_2010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430456161618126930" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihQWJAOf28WMbSTfJJxHLEDiotZ6nYAlhlTjUwFT04z1x_Esgqvl5PznhPZOX7AzYZXAPdiFyGn5JtxjDnDE724krxurp5Za9j-LRA9-WzDWFTE0HfwrtvxnmGCkv85A5q5IkfTZYhGz4/s1600-h/Backbend2009_2010.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 169px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihQWJAOf28WMbSTfJJxHLEDiotZ6nYAlhlTjUwFT04z1x_Esgqvl5PznhPZOX7AzYZXAPdiFyGn5JtxjDnDE724krxurp5Za9j-LRA9-WzDWFTE0HfwrtvxnmGCkv85A5q5IkfTZYhGz4/s320/Backbend2009_2010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430456157896143906" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc2pnRkJvPcmd3B8T7O_0zFJyhyVEIVDpnE_Qmwm-DvgLBEg8kvWzkhCP1a1DGtztogKjqCzGlEOpaVkCP5LoGgadY-6yceu1H3tEwpgzWB4AIMBglbIfxwg4dgpobLO_q-b5p_6SFGdg/s1600-h/MeAndMichele_2009_2010.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 117px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc2pnRkJvPcmd3B8T7O_0zFJyhyVEIVDpnE_Qmwm-DvgLBEg8kvWzkhCP1a1DGtztogKjqCzGlEOpaVkCP5LoGgadY-6yceu1H3tEwpgzWB4AIMBglbIfxwg4dgpobLO_q-b5p_6SFGdg/s320/MeAndMichele_2009_2010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430456169081774146" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgflIVgovxf613Ny9g3nSKGzcs3FhJPTtCBlZWeLoJOhnCdfmHP1xv_t9jEVag860BkgW_-OUpmTeD-BCiU1tqwRajmCUmN7dFl4F4CpDmOZJIP44jmKUWgUFzJaqeD4mRQ3k8f9fQkHGI/s1600-h/HandsToFeet2010.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 269px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgflIVgovxf613Ny9g3nSKGzcs3FhJPTtCBlZWeLoJOhnCdfmHP1xv_t9jEVag860BkgW_-OUpmTeD-BCiU1tqwRajmCUmN7dFl4F4CpDmOZJIP44jmKUWgUFzJaqeD4mRQ3k8f9fQkHGI/s320/HandsToFeet2010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430456166728283314" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYpXULVjwBz9koEGTX94ghtP93L2IGA0px7et3g-cocklsQFjf5IucNrsZzeASTUwgtMLkGh4FJGrTnXBSYpVaPxlT_lr1SHX_f9VlbsDoDVrx1xi9NKf3m5ZMTtcKM5i_Hc1VnSgM828/s1600-h/teachers.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 275px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYpXULVjwBz9koEGTX94ghtP93L2IGA0px7et3g-cocklsQFjf5IucNrsZzeASTUwgtMLkGh4FJGrTnXBSYpVaPxlT_lr1SHX_f9VlbsDoDVrx1xi9NKf3m5ZMTtcKM5i_Hc1VnSgM828/s320/teachers.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430456173175500866" border="0" /></a>Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-17147534796808700052010-01-04T11:56:00.002-05:002010-01-04T12:00:55.894-05:00Riding the waveHappy New Year, everybody!<span style=""> </span>As I look back at 2009, I smile.<span style=""> </span>It was one of my best years ever.<span style=""> </span>And as I look to 2010, I get giddy with anticipation of the wonderful things to come.<span style=""> </span>I know it is going to be a beautiful year.<span style=""> </span>As the winds of change start picking up, I will write all about it. <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I awoke on the first day of 2010 (with a slight hangover) with the strong intention to practice.<span style=""> </span>But once that time actually came, I was easily swayed to go out to breakfast with some friends.<span style=""> </span>The second day of 2010, I set my alarm to go to 8am class, then re-set it to go to 10am class, then turned off the alarm and decided I would go to the 4pm class.<span style=""> </span>And as 3:00 rolled along, my husband and I got a call from our best friends to meet them for lunch.<span style=""> </span>Day 2 of 2010 did not include yoga.<span style=""> </span>I had a brief moment of guilt, and another moment of disappointment.<span style=""> </span>All these people with their New Year’s resolutions have started their year Gung-Ho!<span style=""> </span>And I have started mine spending time with friends.<span style=""> </span>Wait a minute… that doesn’t sound so bad after all!<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sometimes it is hard to fit it all in.<span style=""> </span>Practicing, teaching, working, preparing my meals, spending time at home with Tim, and finding time for friends and family ends up being a balancing act.<span style=""> </span>I WANT to do them all.<span style=""> </span>In fact, I NEED to do them all.<span style=""> </span>The time spent building relationships is what keeps me sane.<span style=""> </span>The hard work that my husband and I do everyday – its reward is our down time with each other.<span style=""> </span>Being able to do what we want to do with the people that we love.<span style=""> </span>Spending all day in our jammies on a snowy Saturday is what we have earned, right?<span style=""> </span>So why do these feelings of guilt and disappointment creep in when I take a day or two off of yoga?<span style=""> </span>I’m not sure I have a definite answer.<span style=""> </span>I know how amazing I feel when I practice.<span style=""> </span>It energizes my day, revitalizes my being, even changes the way I feel.<span style=""> </span>I love the every day challenge.<span style=""> </span>I love that every day, something different happens to me in that room.<span style=""> </span>The transformation my body and mind has made over the past 4 years is possibly the answer.<span style=""> </span>But why guilt?<span style=""> </span>Should I feel guilty for wanting to sleep in with my husband?<span style=""> </span>Should I feel disappointment that I decided to hang out with my friends instead of practice?<span style=""> </span>I know I shouldn’t.<span style=""> </span>I don’t always feel this way.<span style=""> </span>I think the combination of a couple of things exemplified these feelings.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The first thing being “the start to the new year”.<span style=""> </span>I think everyone goes into a brand new year thinking, “Ok, this is going to be the year.”<span style=""> </span>We go in strong and determined.<span style=""> Start strong, end strong, right? </span>The second thing: <span style=""> </span>Knowing that all sorts of yogis around the world have started the <a href="http://bikram101.blogspot.com/">Bikram 101 Challenge</a>.<span style=""> </span>They’ve started with such amazing willpower, strength and determination.<span style=""> </span><span style="font-style: italic;">(Bikram 101 started on January 1</span><sup style="font-style: italic;">st</sup><span style="font-style: italic;"> around the globe. 101 classes in 101 days.)</span><span style=""><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span> </span>And I had breakfast.<span style=""> </span>And slept in.<span style=""> </span>And ate lunch.<span style=""> </span>Instead.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What is funny is that I originally said to myself that I am not going to “commit” to Bikram 101.<span style=""> </span>I know my work schedule gets crazy mid-winter, where it is difficult to get to class.<span style=""> </span>I also have a week long vacation to Mexico in February.<span style=""> </span>So committing to the challenge of 101 classes in 101 days is pretty daunting.<span style=""> </span>But you know, <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">I was going to give it an effort.</span><span style=""> </span>And just this morning, on my bleary-eyed drive to work after a wonderfully long, relaxing weekend, I realized that <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">it’s not too late.</span><span style=""> (Wait a minute... I think I've heard that somewhere.) </span>Yes, I missed Day 1 and Day 2 of this huge challenge.<span style=""> </span>I started my 2010 with a thud not a bang.<span style=""> </span>But 2 days is easy to make up.<span style=""> </span>In fact, I am going to a weekend-long yoga-fest in the Birkshires with Rajashree in a couple weekends, where I am going to be taking 2 classes a day no matter what.<span style=""> </span>There you go!<span style=""> </span>Those classes are already made up!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This funny little wave of silly emotions is now over.<span style=""> </span>I still have not officially committed myself to the challenge, but I’m starting with 30 in January, since my home studio is once again doing a New Years 30-day challenge.<span style=""> </span>And I am really excited to see what happens after that.<span style=""> </span>No more guilt.<span style=""> </span>No more disappointment.<span style=""> </span>The good old, valiant, “Danielle effort” is all I know.<span style=""> </span>No choice.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-37661901669766345412009-12-21T22:22:00.000-05:002009-12-21T22:55:09.509-05:00Things to comeIt’s the most wonderful time of the year… Well, besides the fact that I hate the cold weather and snow, I’m still feeling happier than ever. The past 3 or 4 years I just haven’t been a holiday kind of gal. But a lot has changed in me in the last half a year. I’ve got all these maternal feelings that have taken ahold of me, I’ve become a more giving person, and yes… I actually got a Christmas tree. And it is beautiful. It may be the most perfect tree ever. (Unfortunately, the night we put it up, the tree had and accident and ended up smashing on the floor in the middle of the night. But let’s not go there right now, because you know what I’m exuding positivity and sticking with it!)<br /><br />And well, this 30 day challenge is sadly coming to an end soon. I’ve got 4 classes left to take, so as I planned, I will be done on Christmas Eve. I know I can keep it going if I want to, but between Christmas and New Years I know I’ve got a few days I won’t get to class. But it’s ok. I love that I decided to commit myself to it, because I have truly enjoyed this 30 day challenge more than any other. It could be because I feel more connected with so many of the students that are also doing it, now that I am teaching. It could be that I love that I get to be at the studio and see all the people I love on a very regular basis. It could be that wonderful sense of unity that you feel when you are going thru something with others. It’s all of these things, I am sure. But mostly, I think it is because I have pushed myself to new heights, and feel incredibly strong. I have felt so in tune with my practice, my body, and my strength. I continuously work on my goals that I set on the first day, and can see clear improvements. Dare I say I don’t hate Bow Pose anymore?? Perhaps…. ☺<br /><br />Things are just good. All around. I’m looking forward to holiday parties and spending time with family. I’m excited to see my dad’s side of the family. I’ve just realized that I haven’t seen them since I’ve been back from training!! I get to meet a new little cousin (who actually isn’t really “new” at this point, seeing she was born on May 5th!!) I get to spend time with my brother and his girlfriend, which makes me incredibly happy. We don’t get to see each other as much as we used to, so I’m looking forward to that. I am thrilled to have some time off of work and to be able to spend some snuggle time with Tim. I feel like my teaching has taken a great turn. The past few weeks, a little bit more has “clicked”. Things are just good.<br /><br />I am psyched for tomorrow. I took the day off of work to have an all-yoga-all-the-time day. I’m teaching at 6am, taking at 8am, then heading to West Roxbury to take the advanced class with Diane. Sounds like there is going to be a good group of folks there. I finally get to meet thedancingj, after 3 years of chatting online. I’ve convinced another teacher, Laura, to take the day off with me so we can ride up together. We’ve got a nice friendship and so much in common, I often think we have parallel lives. <br /><br />So as I embark on a short night of rest, I am hoping for deep sleep, sweet dreams, and a continuations of all things that are good in the world.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-44144440337878752442009-12-09T21:05:00.001-05:002009-12-09T21:09:06.100-05:00Struggle, struggle, struggle!!Tomorrow marks the halfway point of my 30 day challenge! It is going really great. I’m loving that I am forced to find the time to make it to class every day. It’s not as if I normally have to “force” myself to class, but with my hectic schedule, I often find myself pushing that extra hour of work that I have to get done, which makes me miss class. But now – NO CHOICE!! <br /><br />My body is feeling fantastic. I’m finding new muscles that are getting sore, and new depths to some postures. It always amazes me that after almost 5 years of practice, I can still wake up the next morning with a new soreness in my body. I got super deep bending left side in half moon the other day. I looked at myself and thought <span style="font-style: italic;">“Wow. So. Cool. That’s me!!”</span> And on that same day, I got into my middle back in something… I’m still not quite sure what posture. But I woke up feeling more alive in that part of my back than ever. Such a good pain! Getting to that point beyond the normal depth that we are comfortable with is always an accomplishment. And feeling it in the body (all over, inside out, bones to skin) is when our bodies really start to change. I’ve been trying to stress this while I am teaching, too. It is so important to go beyond that normal place of comfort. If you are just hanging out balancing for the full minute of Standing Bow, you are not working hard enough. You need to fall forward sometimes. You need to kick so hard that you lose your balance. Even though the dialogue says “if you lose the balance, you’re not kicking hard enough”, that does not mean that we can just hang out there forever. Falling is not failure. Getting back in and struggling just as hard is success.<br /><br />Which brings me to what I have been working on, which is my stamina in Standing Bow.<br /><br />It is getting better. Off and on though. But ever since I have made up my mind to work on holding it longer, I have actually been able to in the majority of classes. I still struggle with just getting too damn tired in that first set. I’m not looking for these thirty days to suddenly reinvent my Standing Bow, where I can hold it the whole time, all the time. But little by little, I will get there. I have had a couple of classes where I actually have found myself relaxing into that posture. Hard to explain. "Relaxing" might not be the right word… There is a point where I am kicking back and up so hard and stretching my fingertips forward so hard that I have a sudden realization of <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">ease</span>. Then I put a big ol’ goofy smile on my face, and <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> is my posture!<br /><br />I still don’t know that I can talk fully about any major improvements in Floor Bow. The past 14 days have brought me to somewhat look forward to the posture a little more because I have found some clarity in it. I want so badly to improve in that one. I totally understand why that posture is where it is in class, but damn! I am so spent after the previous three postures! That could certainly be a part of my struggle. But enough excuses. My exhaustion doesn’t really matter – all that matters is that I stick it out and try as hard as possible to do the posture 100% the right way to the very best of my ability. And someday, eventually, in the future… I will improve, I will progress, and maybe, just maybe, even learn to like that posture a little bit.<br /><br />Halfway mark – here I come!!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-10343922540023941252009-12-03T20:42:00.000-05:002009-12-03T20:43:15.060-05:00One Day after the NextI just finished my 8th day of the 30 day challenge. I’m feeling pretty good. Tonight’s class was awesome. It kicked my asana, was challenging, but not to the point of sitting anything out. I always consider that a great class. A good challenging ass kicking in Bikram Yoga is why we all continue to show up every day, right?<br /><br />Well yesterday was quite different. It was a serious ass whooping… slaying… pummeling… whatever the word is; it was TOUGH. I absolutely killed myself in all the postures up to Standing Bow, was feeling strong, then – THUD. My hands and forearms got tingly and fatigue just hit my whole body. The next few postures I joined in slowly and half-assed them as best as I could, then finally had to sit out the first set of Triangle. The teacher, Sunny, has a nice long one, so it was a good break. I got my butt up for the second set, and Sunny says to me, “You can do it, Danielle!” THAT statement took me through the rest of the class. Every time I wanted to stop and rest, my brain said, “you can do it, Danielle!” <br /><br />I’ve said it before, but it is true – we are so much stronger than we think we are. Strength of mind, strength of body, strength of will. It’s not every day that we get to really push our strengths to heir limits, but when we do… it feels so good. And when we pass over that supposed limit that we think we are at, well now THAT is powerful. In this yoga class, we have all experienced the feeling of defeat. It bums us out a little, but we go back the next day with that knowledge that every day is different, and if yesterday was bad, today will probably rock. But there are those moments in those killer classes that something happens to help us push through. Sometimes it’s the teacher’s comment (whether directed at you or not), and sometimes it’s something inexplicable. Whatever that “something” is, every day is different than the last. All we can do is put one foot after the other, one posture at a time, one breath at a time, and carry ourselves through class with no expectations, open hearts, and English bull dog determination. ☺<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(Side note: I’d like to give a great big THANK YOU to miss dancingj for her tip on floor bow. Still not loving the posture, but I think I’ve found it! It’s a kick UP like in standing bow… brilliant!! I can feel it in my glutes, which I’ve never felt before! Rock on! I hope to write more about this soon.)</span>Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-91633320147096603692009-11-27T14:38:00.000-05:002009-11-27T14:39:31.075-05:00Holiday 30-Day Challenge - Here I go again!Thanksgiving Day class marked the start of what we are calling the “Holiday 30-Day Challenge”. Students can pick any 30 days in a row between Thanksgiving and New Years to complete their thirty days. It’s a tough time of year to dedicate yourself to this. I know how busy we all get with holiday parties with co-workers, family and friends, but I’ve committed myself to it, and am feeling confident that I will complete it. I was having some hesitation writing my name down for it, but took a deep breath, set my goal, and VIOLA! I’m there. <br /><br />Since I have been back from training, it has been a struggle finding the time to practice. I have found that 4 to 5 days a week is pretty consistent for me. I’m looking forward to pushing myself to making the time for yoga practice. Christmas Day will mark the completion date, however, my goal is actually to complete it a day early so I can sleep in with my husband, spend time in our PJs in front of the tree, and relax. ☺ That means at least one double, probably more. I haven’t done a double since training, which is funny because I when I came back, I had some high aspirations that I’d double up a couple times a week. <br /><br />I figure I should set a yoga goal or two for these 30 days. I realized in class yesterday that I need to work on my stamina in Standing Bow. I think that possibly two times in my life, I have held the first set of this posture for the entire duration of the pose. I know that I give up sometimes. But I also know that I fall out even more than give up because I am kicking and pushing so hard. So there. I am going to work on holding it. The whole time. YAY! The other posture I want to improve upon has been my nemesis since the very beginning, Bow Pose (on the floor). I dislike/hate relationship with this pose. I have NEVER liked it. I have NEVER been very good at it. And I can NEVER get my legs 6 inches apart!! Such a struggle for me. There is so much for me to work on: getting my wrists straight, getting my legs closer, getting my legs higher, figuring out the difference between toes pointed and toes pointed out. And I might as well work on not dreading this posture every time we get to it! It just the one pose where I mostly feel like it is horrible, and the rest of the time I think, ‘well, I guess that didn’t suck.” <br /><br />Of course, I see the correlation of the two poses. And of course, I know that if I can get one to improve, the other will likely follow. Hmmm… maybe I should take some pics after class this weekend. <br /><br />I am hoping to be able to write a little bit more during these 30 days. I have a lot of things going on in my head and my life, and I hope to find the time to write, because it is another wonderful outlet for me. I will do my best!! But for now, I have to change and guzzle some water so I can head to the 3:30 class – DAY 2 of my 30 days!!<br /><br />Wish me luck!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-11876264807017576712009-11-06T22:48:00.002-05:002009-11-06T22:50:44.911-05:00You are stronger than you think you areI was just reading <a href="http://60in60at60.blogspot.com/">a blog post about standing head to knee</a>, and it got me thinking about the posture. I might be in the minority, but this posture might be my MOST favorite. (And I say MOST favorite because I have few… but this one takes the cake.) So why is it my favorite?<br /><br />I’ve taken myself back to when I first started practicing. It’s just amazing to go back there sometimes. First of all, this whole “locked knee” thing just didn’t make ANY sense to me. When I thought “locked knee”, I just knew that all of my life, it was important to keep my knees soft. (Where did that come from, I wonder?) So when teachers would tell me to lock my knee, in my head, I would think, “No, that’s not what they really mean.” And then one day, I figured out what they meant. CONTRACT YOUR THIGH MUSCLE. Kneecap lifts up! I can’t tell you how long it took me to realize wheat a locked knee was. Perhaps a couple of weeks. Maybe more. Maybe less. What amazes me right now, at this present moment, is that I could not stand there on that solid, concrete, lamppost, locked knee for half the posture. Perhaps amazement isn’t the right word. Maybe it should be pride… accomplishment… determination. <br /><br />How far have you come in your practice? Go back there. I guarantee you will feel a sense of pride within yourself. I observe so many postures that I have grown dramatically in. And the best thing is, there is SO MUCH MORE. I used to dive in and out of workout routines. Five years ago, I never would have thought that a series of 26 postures, in the same order, every single time, would keep me interested. But those accomplishments that occur on a weekly basis keep Bikram Yoga so fresh and so challenging and so intriguing to me. Standing Head to Knee is my favorite posture!! I mean, really? And there are still 5 more things that I KNOW I need to work on while I am in it. And once I get those 5 things solid and concrete…. The next challenge will be there. At training, when the Advanced Series was demonstrated to us, my jaw dropped when I saw Juan let go of his foot, with his head on his knee, and Just. Hold it. There. WHAT?? <br /><br />I will do that some day. <br /><br />How do I know that? I just do. I’ve seen the strides I have taken in my practice over the last 4 years. I say strides, but I really mean leaps. Bounds. This is what yoga is all about. It is about realizing your potential. It is about pushing yourself to achieve the impossible. We are so much stronger than we think we are. And every single day, as I look at myself in the mirror, I struggle. Sometimes I don’t struggle as much, but no matter what, I struggle. And when I walk out of that room, having endured those 90 uninterrupted minutes of my life, I see a more confident me… a stronger me… a more empowered me. And that person who walked into class for the first time slowly begins to evolve into someone else. Someone that no limits. Someone like me.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-53393206759974129742009-10-19T23:00:00.000-04:002009-10-19T23:01:30.264-04:00The dialogue is always thereI woke up Sunday with a horrible head cold, a sore throat, and a nose that wouldn’t stop running. Ok. Fine. Everyone gets sick. And when I get sick, it usually doesn’t last very long. So I wake up today (Monday) after a night where my husband says he thought he was sleeping next to Darth Vader, and I’m still not feeling so hot. But I have lots to do at work, and a sick day is just not in the cards for me. It’s just a cold anyways. Suck it up. <br /><br />Halfway thru the day, I realize that it’s Monday and I have to teach tonight. I haven’t bothered trying to find someone to teach for me, so I figure that I will take class first at 5:30, which usually clears up a head cold temporarily, and I will be good to go for teaching. (At least that was the intention that I set out to the world.)<br /><br />I set myself up in the back row, which is not the norm for me, but I knew that I might struggle and didn’t want to bring anyone down with me. Class is going pretty well, actually, although it feels like I am sweating even more profusely than ever. I finally had to take a knee and get my heart rate back to normal. No big deal. After all, I am sick!! We get to the floor, and I had an emotional release. It took me by total surprise. The only time I have ever cried in class was in training. And there is a LOT going on at training, so it’s not too surprising. Well, there I was back at training for a few moments. It was 100% a relived moment. I remember so clearly the day during the morning class at training, when I was as sick as a dog, and just lost it. I won’t say that I lost it today. It was more of a quick release that went almost as quickly as it came. It was a re-creation of my physical past experience: the way my body and head were feeling, the actual class, the pressure I was feeling about teaching class next. And boom! It all came out. I don’t know that I have anything to say about it right now (probably because I just took a big shot of NyQuil), but I found the whole thing very interesting. I may speculate more on it later.<br /><br />Anyways, that is really not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about what came next. Teaching. I feel like I have a temperature, my ears are blocked, my throat is sore, and I have a cement block pressing down on my head. And the microphone is broken. And my mentor, Linda, is taking my class. And Charlie and Jen come to take my class. So I’m feeling anxious about the whole situation. Under normal circumstances, without the sickness, I’d be a little nervous. But now I’m actually concerned. Never the less, I make the commitment to give every ounce of energy that I have in me to the class. And I do. It was HARD. Really hard. I struggled with my dialogue in Pranayama Breathing. My brain was totally not finding anything besides “Chest up, Spine straight, full lungs”. But that’s ok. I forgive myself. I realize I am sweating as much as I was sweating when I took the class prior. UH OH!<br /><br />But somehow, the rest of class went well. I had a hard time with my breath, because I was having a hard time breathing. I haven’t had to remind myself to BREATHE since training. And also, I felt like I was shouting the whole time. I don’t have a very loud voice, so I may have over-compensated for the lack of the microphone. But all in all, it was good. I had a hard time giving corrections, and realized that I just had to stick to the dialogue. The corrections are already built in. Just say the dialogue. It is there. The words were put on that paper for a reason. And even though I felt like it was not my best class, it was good. The students were strong. They listened. They even laughed a little. They gave me back what I needed to make it a good class, and in turn, I continued to give back what was given to me. <br /><br />I learned a few very important lessons today:<br /><br />1. Trust the dialogue. When all else might be crumbling, it is there.<br /><br />2. Give and you will get back.<br /><br />And as much as I may have learned “life lessons” from #1 and #2… #3 is… <br /><br />3. If you’re sick and have to teach, don’t try to be a hero… at least try to find someone to cover for you!!!<br /><br />And on that note, the NyQuil has definitely clouded any finesse that I was trying to end with. So good night. xoxoDaniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-88659306292398802552009-10-09T21:28:00.002-04:002009-10-09T21:34:12.305-04:00All the right reasonsI took my favorite (and first) teacher, Linda's class tonight at 5:30. It was such a doozy for me. I was struggling with my breath and my stamina, and had one of those insanely mentally challenging classes. I have a love/hate relationship with those classes. I try so hard to push thru that mental challenge. You know, the <span style="font-style: italic;">“Oh my god, it’s too hot, my heart is racing, I want to DIE”</span> kind of class. Lately, I would say that 95% of the time, I can push through. Today was one of those days. I pushed through. I struggled. I did it. The feeling after those classes, after the 15 minutes of trying to put words together to make actual sentences, is amazing. Is that why we push so hard? For the aftermath blissful feeling? For the internal sense of accomplishment? For what?<br /><br />In one of the savasanas, Linda said, “I was having one of those classes the other day where I just didn’t want to be there. But there were two brand new students behind me. So I fought through. Sometimes you practice for yourself. Sometimes you practice for others.” I found that so appropriate. And so true. I thought to myself, who am I fighting for here? One of my best friends, Michele, was right beside me struggling just as much as I was. I was pushing myself to help her, too. I knew if I hit the mat, she probably would have felt like she could have also. I did it for Linda. I don’t get to take her class very often, and damn if I am going to sit out when I get 100% of her energy, knowledge and love in class!! And yes, I did it for me. Because I know I am strong. I know that sometimes it is all in my head. I KNOW I can do anything. <br /><br />Sometimes I lay it all out on the table for someone else. And sometimes it is just for me. I think they are equally important. And when we can realize that our own beings can lift others… well, now<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> that is yoga</span>.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-69253385087067614342009-10-06T22:03:00.001-04:002009-10-06T22:05:01.878-04:00Tomorrow is a new dayThe New England Regional Yoga Championship is October 24th. I’ve been saying that I am going to compete. And now it is less than 3 weeks away and I haven’t got a routine. The only thing I did to prepare myself was to go to Diane’s studio and take an Advanced Class / Coaching Session. This was over 3 weeks ago. I was intimidated with the advanced postures, and truly have no clue what I would do for my optional postures. I feel pretty disappointed with myself, but I really just don’t think I am going to enter the competition. <br /><br />I hate to give excuses. But I have been so busy with life. My full time job has been insanely challenging and taking up every ounce of energy that I have for the last month or so. I feel like I haven’t got much left in me after work, so I haven’t taken the time to even THINK about competing, never mind train for it. I didn’t set my intention. I didn’t add it to my list. And now, I feel it is too late. My studio owner, Sam, says that I should still do it, just for the experience. But I don’t feel like I can. It’s funny, I am no longer a “No I can’t” kind of person. What is going on here? What is this negativity creeping into my being? Tomorrow, my goal is to awaken that me that I found 3 months back. That “I can do anything” me. I think I like her a lot better.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6220510699146575707.post-19341206043660096402009-09-28T15:35:00.003-04:002009-09-28T15:42:24.349-04:00Ummm....I'm just not sure what to say about this.... <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uI27XpezSY">Anti-Gravity Yoga</a>.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18028226448160546673noreply@blogger.com4