It’s been a while since I’ve written. I’ve been back from training for 2 months now. My hiatus from life seems like it was eons ago. I miss it a lot at times, but at the same time, I have so much of it with me that I’ve been able to harness. But the friends, the routine, the intensity… I do miss.
Teaching. WOW. I love it. It is such an awesome thing to be able to help people from the outside in, to watch the transformations of people right in front of me, to see a first-timer new student come back for more. I love being up on that podium and giving students all that I have. And I love watching myself begin to evolve as a teacher. From my first class, where I think my husband was going to have to slip me a valium so I could get through it, to the last class I taught on Friday morning, where I felt more connected to my students than I ever have, I’ve enjoyed every single experience. I am seeing more and more (sometimes too much, I think!), and I’m slowly but surely getting better at corrections, without losing the flow of class. There was a really cool point in class on Friday when I was saying the dialogue and thinking, “Hmm… something’s not right there, she’s got to get her upper body back. That’s odd, he’s got to sit down more”, and as I’m thinking it, I make the corrections (not just in my head). I found it amazing that I could be doing all these things all at once in a matter of seconds. I know I’ve sort of been doing it all along (perhaps??) but this was a bit of a revelation to me. And as I’m doing all of this, I’m also having a revelation!! I guess when they say that teaching is just like juggling, I now understand a little bit more. I seem to have added a couple more balls to my juggling routine!
Being back home is great, of course. I took a couple of weeks off before going back to work, which is the best thing I could have done for myself. I definitely needed that adjustment period to reconnect with Tim and my family and my home and just the regular things in life that I didn’t have in training. I was able to teach a bunch of classes in that time, which was wonderful, too. It kind of helped to get me over that little “oh shit I have to teach” hump. Getting back to work was a whole other adjustment. What? I have to sit at a desk? I have to dress up? I have to wear a BRA???? Oh no, I’m not liking this AT ALL! (Have I mentioned that one of the best parts of training for me was that I didn’t have to wear undergarments for 9 weeks?? ☺ ) After getting over the culture shock of being back at work, I slowly began getting back in my groove and back into the swing of things. It was hard for a good month though. I really just wanted to be teaching. I just spent 9 weeks learning this amazing new craft, and I just wanted to be doing it!! That was the hardest part. After some time, I had a little one-on-one talk with myself. I decided that I have to give my 100% at my job, like everything else that I do in life. Give it my all, and give it a chance. If after 6 months or a year, my heart is just not in it, well then I can at least say that I tried. I’d hate to have quit only to look back and wonder if I’d done the wrong thing.
So with that mentality, I’ve picked myself up and gotten right back into the swing of things. And I remembered that I do actually like my job! I like the people and the work, and yes, even the stress (although I don’t seem to get nearly as stressed as I used to!). I’ve noticed that I’ve become more organized, more efficient, and more assertive. Look, it’s that “better me” I talked about before embarking on my journey!
Right now, I’m working on finding balance in my life. I’m only teaching a couple of classes a week. I wish I could teach more, but having a full time job, keeping up with my own yoga practice consistently, softball, and spending time at home just doesn’t allow for much more than that. Perhaps when the cold weather hits I may add another class, but for now, I think that this is what I can do. Eventually, in the future… well, only time will tell what happens then.
Medicine Modality: Koshi Chimes.
10 months ago