Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Cleaning up the clutter

Have you ever looked around yourself and been overwhelmed with all the “stuff” in your life? It’s not just physical, tangible things that I am talking about here. How much “extra baggage” to we carry around in our day-to-day lives? All the things we do in life, because perhaps we feel like we should, like we are obligated, like if we don’t do it, someone is going to get hurt or feel bad or not like us. Why? All the mental clutter that crowds our minds: “Is my job safe?” or “Are we going to be ok?” or “Why aren’t I good enough?”

As I embark in the next phase of my life, I feel so much like I really have to “clean house”. Yes, definitely in the literal sense, but even more than that. With everything I have been doing for the past year (full-time job, practicing, teaching, softball, cooking, friends, family, LIFE!), I feel like this transition is a way for me to really clean up shop. I look around our home and can see all this STUFF. It is so easy to accumulate a lot over the course of a few years… bills piled up high, notebooks full of to-do lists and half-baked ideas, empty boxes from new appliances that you can’t quite throw away just in case. I can’t help but think that if I clean up all the STUFF, I am going to gain more focus, more clarity, more spirit of self. If we are crowded by things that have no purpose in our lives, why do we continue to hold on to them? I can probably go thru boxes and closets and find things I didn’t even know or remember I had. What use is this? Will my life be any less fulfilling or happy without these things?

I’ve been thinking that moving on from my job is another way that I am removing that which does not serve me. My job turned in to something I no longer LOVE. There are still the parts that get my adrenaline going, but the majority of my days were spent thinking about what I REALLY want to be doing. And what is really cool is that after making that final decision to move forward with teaching on a full-time basis, I found out that I am still going to be able to continue doing some design, getting the best of both of my worlds. Only this time, it’s in my own control. I’m cleaning up the daily ho-hum and refocusing myself on where I am meant to be. Is it scary? Well, hell yeah. But the knowledge and certainty I feel is astounding. I mean, shit, if I can take ALL of my energy and focus it on yoga, there is no telling what I can accomplish. There is so much I can give. It's my karma yoga to give it. And not only that, there is so much more for me to learn.

So as I mop up all the muddle, I dream of this ongoing journey of life. Where things come and go, and paths are undefined and clear. Where the jumble jams the pathway, only to see that goal in the far away distance, refocus my sights, clean the clutter in the way, and continue on the straight road, while filling myself up with the beauty of the scenery on the way.